The Purpose Power Podcast

Michael & Niko Ford (00:56)
Hey, family, and welcome back to the Purpose Power Podcast. I'm Michael Ford. And I'm Nico Ford, where every week we talk about real life, faith, marriage, mindset, and the kind of lessons you only learn by walking through it. Last week, we talked about faith in the fog and how to move through it when you can't see ahead. But today's topic digs even deeper. So today, we're talking about purpose in pain.

because everybody faces pain, but not everybody finds purpose in the pain, right? The difference is perspective, right? Yep, absolutely. So the scripture that we're going to use for today is actually found in Romans chapter eight, verse 28, which reads, we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him and have called according to his purpose.

that were in purpose again. That means even the things that broke you, even the losses, the disappointments, God can still use it. God can definitely still use it. none of us are exempt from pain. Now, the thing that's hardest,

trying to find the purpose in the pain. No, exactly. Exactly. Sometimes it doesn't come until looking back. Because when you're going through it, Lord knows you don't see the purpose in it. Right. You ask yourself, why God me? Exactly. And let's just be honest. Pain, unfortunately, just doesn't skip anybody. You can love God. You can serve him. You can be faithful. And you still go through things that break your heart.

I totally agree with that. yes, like people sometimes believe that you're walking in this purpose, but you should, it should be easy. Yeah. Pain free. That's not, that's not how growth works. And that's just not how God works. Purpose is often revealed in your pain. Through pain. Yeah. You know, and you know, I can say with my walk, I can say we have, we have, we have had pain. We had have recently, it seems like a lot of pain. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like.

Back to back pain. Exactly. Yeah. You just like you were getting over one era, you know, the cancer journey. think we were getting over that recovering, still recovering, but we were recovering from that. And then boom, it seemed like bam, bam. Yeah. just seems like, yeah. mean, sometimes pain, you know, it opens your eyes for your assignment. Yeah. That's God has you to do.

you know, to fulfill and to do, because do that pain sometimes is when, you know, God gets your attention and you get grounded back towards, you know, towards him. you know, growth doesn't really happen in your comfort zone. No growth never happens in your comfort zone. So when does pain become purpose? I had a moment in my life where pain felt unbearable.

And for me, and I'm talking about the recent loss of my older brother, was very sudden. wasn't nothing, he wasn't sick. Yeah. in that moment, was, I I just should be honest, share with you. Yeah, yeah. We lost him. I can't say we lost him, but he went home Easter Sunday. Yeah.

It was like, it was unreal. You and I, and think you and I and the kids, we were all in the bed, were watching our, you know, we watch Jesus movies and we do that, we tell them what the reason Easter is. And we were just sitting in the bed. I think we might have even been watching Passion of the Christ. We were watching Passion of the Christ. And I got a phone call from my mom. you know, I didn't answer it because I was watching the movie. Yeah.

And I said, I mean I felt bad later, but she called back. again, yeah. I said, okay, she called him back. There's a problem. Yeah. And then she just called and she said, just said, ⁓ Mandy been in an accident and he's unconscious. Yeah. She told us to pray. And I was like, what? And the first thing my mind goes is I'm starting to ask a lot of questions. Like where is he at? Because I don't, I don't have his, I can't track him. I can't do anything. So I'm like, and he was in Vegas at the time when we were in Phoenix. Yeah.

And just like, okay, okay, okay, how bad is it? What is it? Is he really unconscious? I don't know if you exaggerate. I don't know. Like, okay. We didn't know anything. It was like, okay, so what do we do? What do do? Right. And the next call, maybe like three, five minutes later, maybe? Five minutes later. It was just like, she called and said, he's gone. Yeah. I was like, well, what do mean he's gone? What do you mean he's gone? Right. Like, no.

nothing making sense. And trying to put the pieces together. Yeah. So I called the doctor myself and he said, well, he couldn't talk to me because I was the next to Ken. Yeah. But he just said, whatever, whatever I told the next to Ken, that that's what's happened. Yeah. And it was, was an unreal, it was an unreal moment. And yeah.

So it took me time to process like what happened.

I'm one that I don't show a lot of emotion. I don't show a lot of emotions for things sometimes. Not because I don't have emotions, it's just I've learned to suppress some of my emotions or I'm logical so I go through progressions. I'm not saying I don't have those feelings because I do. just don't last long. But it was like, wasn't, it was unsurreal. It didn't seem like it was real.

It took me a while to process it and the next thing is was I went into action because we had to go down to Vegas and take care of his things and his estate. So, yeah. I had to figure all that out. And in that pain.

The purpose I found in that pain is it made me push, actually push to get my book out. It made me jump start a lot of stuff. Like even started doing podcasts and stuff like that because you realize how short life is. Yeah, you have a short time. And the day before, he had a radio ministry that he does with my mom over in Africa. He preached a good message the day before. I was like, okay, because you think you have time to talk to people.

Exactly. And come to find out we never we didn't know that would be his last day on earth, but his legacy lives on and you look at his accomplishments and not not not not not about his worldly accomplishments I'm talking about he had a lot of those as well. Yeah. About what he did for the kingdom. how he walked in his purpose until the day he left here and he ran his race. But through that pain it's like God like

My eyes were open again to like the urgency of needing to get, let's get this stuff going. Like just get this stuff going. Exactly. Stop procrastinating. And it gave me boldness to actually step out there and actually move my purpose because sometimes you don't, you like, talked in the previous episode, sometimes you're not sure that, know, that you, you, you're supposed to be doing this or you're the right one to be doing it. But after that moment, it was like, you know what? We get in full gear.

So I saw things a lot differently and you know, I just I'm grateful for the time we have with him and I'm grateful for the things that God has shown me through that whole experience. Right. And how to get through, how he got me through that and how he got us through it. Yeah. And yeah, it's just something that you never thought, I never thought would happen, you know.

Yeah, and I can see really how much that loss really did weigh on you, but also how it did open the door in a lot of ways for you to then move in your purpose. And that's why it is so important that you don't lose your focus or your purpose in God when you go through things, when you go through seasons, and specifically when you go through a season of ⁓ pain.

or loss. It's so important to just still be grounded in who you are in Christ. Because if you don't, it's so easy for Satan to take those moments and essentially steal from you. Oh yeah, I I didn't understand at the time. I asked God, like, why him? Yeah. Like, why now? You know what I But I think over time, you began to see God's purpose.

And still seeing it, you know, because it wasn't that long ago. I still have questions. I mean, I dare not, I don't want to go down and I wrote a question in God. Right. Because you start questioning God about certain things, you know, because as a believer, that's our hope, right? That death is not the end. Exactly. So, times like that happen, it really tests your faith to say, okay, through this pain, God...

Do I still believe in you? Yes. Because it's easy to say, God, you know what? This is horrible. Like,

My wife's hit with cancer. Let's go back before, 2018. I mean, I was hit with a health scare myself. Yeah. And it thought it was cancer too, but it up being something else. But that was still scary in itself too. No, and that was scary and that was pain as well. And then it's like, okay. Yeah. And then to get over that, because I remember us driving and I remember you started tearing up.

And we had a little tear moment but a little laugh moment about my hair because I had dreads at the time. Yeah, and we were like, that's what we thought it was Cancer for you and it was like, oh no, like you're gonna lose your hair. Yeah, and then The ironic thing is like years later than you the cancer would hit you and then you had to lose your hair right and going through that like that was That was difficult too because I'm thinking like God look like why can't you it be me?

Like, let it be me. Put that, I want this weight on me. Because it's hard to like watch somebody like you love suffer. Like that's a hard thing to go through. That's a hard thing to go through. And in that time, you can question God. You can question God and that's the pain that I think most people don't understand is watching your loved one suffer. Right. And can't do anything about it. Exactly. Because you feel like there's not, like you said, you can't do anything about it. Your hands are tied.

And that's a crippling feeling. as a man, I can't provide, I can't do anything. But through that, through all that pain, I can still say that God is faithful. Yes, absolutely. God is absolutely faithful. Absolutely so faithful. And scripture, what's that scripture? What is it? 2 Corinthians 4, 17?

for what was it? Let me look it up. No. I gonna say you can use your phone. I'm lying, but you can use your phone.

And he reads it for me. 2 Corinthians chapter 4 verse 17 says, for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. Yes, yes. And I just love that verse because it reminds us that even when life hurts that there's something greater being developed within

It reminds us that when life hurts, there's something greater being developed in us. So that essentially means that there is purpose in your pain and that God has a purpose for your pain. Everything you go through, God has a purpose for it. know, nothing that you experience here on this earth will ever just fall to the ground and not have a purpose for it. God uses, and a lot of times too, this is we have to remember as well.

when we're going through something, whether it's hurt, like we were talking last week, being in a fog, not being able to see God, not being able to hear God, we have to always remember that anything we go through is always used for someone else. To be able to help someone else because you never know what other people are going through. Satan will have you think this is just happening to you.

This is only about you. He'll try to isolate you and think like this is a... And God is just waiting for you to give it to him so then he can now, you know, begin to help you heal, but as you heal, now you can help others heal. And see, now your pain truly does have purpose because it's going out to the masses, helping people heal, helping people to see God is good. And even...

you know, helping people bring their relationship back close to God, but even helping some people who don't know God, know him through pain. mean, I mean, many's passing, I I thought, I mean, I thought I'd be covered for that kind of loss. Yeah. And then like day by day, it's only been months. It's haven't been like years, you know? Yeah. I had to realize God had, God had to prepare me.

for or how to trust him through my pain. My brother's death gave me perspective.

life and it taught me you know life is fragile it really is life is very fragile

especially him being so young, he was only 48. And I'm 44 by the 45. And my twin brother is 45. So it's like life is fragile, like wow. But even in this fragile state.

Life is a gift. Yes, every day. And the present is a gift. we have to realize that your today shapes your tomorrow. So you have to get busy today doing what God has you to do. Yeah. Because you never know when legacy dies or when legacy get cut off. You stop making legacy. Exactly. And as a father, it's important to...

Or as parents, it's not, but you know, the Bible says a good man leaves inheritance to the children, children, children. And I think all of that inheritance is not necessarily always just money, it's knowledge, it's information. It's anything I believe that breaks generational curses. So yeah, anything that God can use to be able to break those things, like you said, that you leave an inheritance, you leave not just finances, but I believe...

things that can help generations to come. No, no, and that's why it's important for us to get this out. We do a lot of stuff. We have the Purpose Academy, we have courses and stuff that we teach. Right.

But it was just a period that just was eye-opening for walking in your purpose and from the pain that comes from, know, how you find purpose in the pain. And I can say God is faithful and his mercy endures forever. Very much so. And I'm grateful for what I learned through that. I'm grateful for the life that he lived, the legacy that he left to this world.

He touched many souls. He's still touching souls. So that last message he preached. And know, I know we're see him again. Yeah. And you know, that's what we have. Yeah, that's the That's promise we have in Christ. Yep. You know, that death wears its sting. know what mean? So in that, there's hope. Absolutely. I believe that. I believe that that season really did change everything for us.

I feel like the pain stripped away everything unnecessary, the stuff that we were concerned about, the unnecessary things sometimes that we hold on to. And the reality is what truly does matter is faith, our faith in belief in God, our family and our purpose. What we're here for. Exactly. Because pain showed me that purpose isn't always found in success. It's like... ⁓

It often is found in surrender. And that's surrendering ourself to God and his will. And his will for our life and what we should be doing and how we're staying on track. Excuse me, guys, teeth must be my nose. My nose is running and I'm trying not to do it. He's been struggling with his nose. have to a lot of...

I've been struggling. When it rains out here in Arizona, just blossoms. They haven't blossomed in hundreds of years and it comes out. So, Nicole, let ask you a

How to, okay, in your words, how would you say, how would you find the purpose in pain? I know I spoke on a little bit, but how would you say, how would you find the purpose in pain? Well, one, I think you have to be real with God. You have to be so, like you were saying a few minutes ago, surrendering. A lot of times as believers, we do not surrender things to God. We're not honest with him.

You know, but the thing about it is is God knows people always say God know my heart Yeah, he does know your heart, know, your heart is deceitful. Your heart has a lot of different things in it But the reality is is that you have to be able to be honest with God be totally transparent before him because he already knows But he is waiting for you to just be real with him. Just lay it out there So it was a step one

is be real for God. Yeah. Don't fake faith. Tell God how you feel. Yeah. Healing starts when you're honest. So we say step one. Absolutely. And when you say step two. Step two would be what you were saying earlier is about looking for the lesson. Because so many times we just, like I said, you can, if you're not careful when pain happens, when things happen like a death.

or a sickness or whatever it is, stops you in your tracks. And a lot of times we get to focusing on why me, God. You know, we center in rather than saying, okay, God, what is this season that you're trying to teach me? What is it that I need to grow from in this season? There is always a lesson. And so I think the second thing to do would be look for the lesson.

Pain can reveal a lot of different things. Maybe there's pride there. Maybe your strength is not in God. Maybe it's in what you can do. Just ask Him boldly. God, what are you trying to teach me through this? What do I need to get from this? Because God has a purpose for everything. And He wants to reveal who we are so that we can get closer.

to our purpose and get closer to him and doing what he's called us to do. And I would say the third step is don't waste your pain. Right. If you're, you're, if you're, you're, if something's hard and you're not done, deal with it. You know, your pain is also there to help somebody else. Yeah. I mean, I mean, that's how, that's how you turn pain into purpose. Yep. Cause if you take your lesson from your pain and you use it to help somebody.

Yes. them walk on their God given purpose. Right. Or help them to see God when they can't see God, you know? Exactly. I think your story ⁓ sometimes is someone else's Bible guide. Yes. I think so too. And that's good. Because that's what the Bible is, right? Yes. I mean, that's good. But I would say more than just a Bible guide is someone's...

thriving guide Because you know, it's easy for us to just be in survival God doesn't want us to be in survival faith is not Supposed to just be used for survival is supposed to be used for us to thrive in our purpose You know what? That might be what scripture was Psalms chapter 34 verse 18 the Lord is close to the broken heart and he saves those who are crushed in spirit. Yes

Yes, he does. Yeah, that verse I know has definitely gotten me through some some dark times. I had to remember that during during the cancer journey. I know that people are like, hey, you keep bringing it up. But that's something I know firsthand that I knew God was close to me during that time and I had to hold on to that scripture or else I wouldn't have gotten through. I definitely.

I definitely could agree because that was the, yeah, that was a hard time. That was. But it's good to like to see that we got through. See, you know, we got through, you got through. You know, it was touch and go. It was. And, you know, yes, you know, you have some physical limitations, but I believe God's working that out through your body. I think so too. You know, and I think that, you know, I'm glad you're here. Me

Through those limitations, think God's going to be so strong in that as well. think so too. I believe that. It's just one of those things that...

I think about, change subject a little bit, about my book, Race 101. And even like procrastinating with that.

Sometimes it's God's timing, right? You know, it's funny that we working on that book, we were talking about running your race, and I'm talking about how he ran his race and took his last lap. And just, you know, be able to put him in the book. Yeah. I think that was a cool gift. I think so too. That, you know, I think God allowed me to that timing to put him in there. To finish that. To finish that, so.

If you guys know a book I'm talking about, I'm talking about the audiobook that I just released called Race Running 101. We'll put it where you can get it in the description.

No, season it just... I'm just grateful that I can say that I'm still in love with God through this pain. And that I'm obsessed with walking in my purpose and I'm obsessed with helping people walk in their purpose. And it's one of those things that I know that's my God given race is to help bring people out of potential. know what mean? And you know...

to just go to the next subject, guess, is that, you know, marriage and relationship, you know.

I believe that pain can also show up in relationships. You know? I mean... Because we're two different people. Handle and respond to pain differently. You know, there was times where, you know, you wanted to talk or maybe I wanted to talk or maybe sometimes we wanted silence. So having that respect for each other and giving each other that space to process it.

⁓ I remember when Manny did pass away, was moments, for the most part, I think you were still the same, but it was little things that I would notice you were a bit off. I remember in particular, I think we were having dinner, excuse me, one night with the kids, had Chick-fil-A, I think it was, and Manny had left a bunch of shoes. Anybody who knew Manny, knew that Manny loved shoes.

And our son, you know, I know where you're going. Love shoes too. Yeah. And Michael got a little upset. I can't remember the exact details, but he kind of snapped a little bit. No, no, I didn't snap. I went off and I was hurting that. Maybe I said it was my mouth because I snapped on our son because we just got off his shoes. And yet I heard a lot of shoes were the same size, but I didn't want to touch them.

And I haven't gone through them, we haven't sorted And my son went in there and he went through it and took some shoes out. And yeah, I kind of lost it. Because I was just thinking like, that's my brother's like, you know. That's the last of his days. It's like, man. And if anybody knows me, I'm not really a fashion person. No. So all my shoes, especially all my expensive shoes. Were always bought by somebody else. Well, mostly many.

Yes, I was gonna say that. Actually, a month before he died, he came over here, he went shopping, he bought me like four pairs of shoes. That was his thing. That was his way. And that was... But see, the thing about it was that I did love that you... Like I said, that was different for him. was a little bit... He came out of character a bit, but... Yeah, I did. And I remember Isaac was very apologetic. Like, hey, Dad, I didn't mean to...

And the funny thing was is Michael knew that because we know as he just has such a ⁓ sweet personality. He's just such a sweetheart. And so he and I remember you apologizing to him and saying, hey, that's our you know, whatever shoes it is that you want going there and pick out the ones you want, know, and that's when I realized that, OK, this is hitting him more than I thought, because anybody that knows Michael, he's pretty calm.

under pressure, he's pretty calm when things happen. But there's maybe a few times I've seen him just like kind of, kind of freeze in his stance. And that was probably, you know, obviously anything that's ever happened to me. And then with, with losing Manny, that was two times where I've seen you just sort of not know what to do. And that sort of stunned you in your stance. Yeah. No, yeah. And sometimes pain can,

push people apart. But if you let God in the middle of it. You let God in every moment of it. He can pull you closer. I mean, you realize just to... That we're not just partners in good times. No, we're partners in the bad ones too. through it all. You know, what is it, our vows? Through sickness and health? Through death do us part. Yes sir. But in a relationship that does... ⁓

build real intimacy. Yeah. yeah. It's not just laughter and joy. It's also tears and trust. You got to learn how to trust your partner. Even when things look bad, you got to still learn to trust them and let them in. Because the hardest thing sometimes is letting them in. It's easier to kind of let them, you know, hey, look, I need this for me, you know, and forget about your partner. So don't leave your partner out, especially, you know, if you're married, they love you.

They, you know, they want to be there to comfort you. And let that guard down, especially as men, you know, so if you're listening right now and you're in pain and I would say this, don't let the pain define you. Let develop you. Cause God can turn your deepest wounds into your greatness, your greatest witness. And saying that is like, I'm not saying it's going to be easy.

Because it's not easy, right? It's not easy to let go of something because let's be honest, we like control. We like to on. Sometimes we like staying in the grief stage. Because sometimes that grief feels good. Yes. It does. And sometimes the grief plays on your other types of emotions too, because you get sympathy. Yeah. It gives you a reason not to move. Oh yeah. It gives you an excuse to procrastinate. And stay where you are. It gives you an excuse to lose your witness.

Because you could say like in that moment with Isaac, right? Yeah. I lost my filter because I'm going to do something. And in that moment, still remember you still witness. Exactly. And, but, but it can be used as an excuse. You're still an ambassador for Christ, right? Yeah. But that pain could be used as an excuse. So it can be as a crutch to just living your flesh a little bit. mean, your flesh a lot. mean, you know, it's like, look, my brother just died. Look, what'd you say to me?

Exactly. Exactly. It can be one of those things. So I'm telling you guys now, listen, don't let it be a crutch. Yeah. Push through, cling closer to God. if you're in Christ, and this is why it's very important. If you guys do not know Jesus Christ, I urge you to get a relationship, set them as your Lord and savior. Let them come into your heart because

He gives you what? Joyful laughter. What was it? ⁓ joyful pain. I forgot the scripture. You're thinking of a song. ⁓ yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. that's the gift that he gives you and you have to draw close to him and stuff like that happens because it it can, you can find purpose in pain, but you also can find devastation and pain as well. And that devastation can off rail you.

for your God-given purpose. And also, if you lose your potential, what God's trying to develop you in if you give into that. Yeah, and I think that's why it's important to think about perspective when you're in it. That's why it's very important to do that. And just remember, too, that purpose is often hidden in the things that broke you, and the things that come to that. See, Satan means for harm, but God means it for good.

You might not understand it yet. Like right now you might be in a season of pain and you might not understand that at all. But if you will just trust God, trust that he has a purpose for your pain, you know, it's going to be okay. And he will turn that thing around for your good. The very thing that Satan bought to your doorstep to destroy you. God is going to turn it around for your good if you just trust him. And just like I found purpose through losing my brother, Manny.

I believe that you can find purpose through your pain. God doesn't waste anything. Nope, he doesn't. He does not. God is not a waster of potential. He's not a waster of pain because everything works together for good. Yeah, those who trust him and are called according to his purpose. Called according to his purpose. Yeah. So I just want to just, and we just want to thank you guys for tuning in today. And then just let you know that if this episode did touch you in any way,

that you would share with someone who's hurting right now. Let them know, remind them that God loves them and that they're not alone. And yeah, just share it with someone.

Yes. So I'm Michael Ford. And I'm Niko Ford. And next week we're going to talk about the power of partnership and how to build connections through the multiplying of your purpose. Did I say that right? Sure. But until then y'all, want y'all to just keep your faith strong, keep believing in God and know that you have a purpose and God loves you. And ⁓ thanks for tuning in y'all.

Again, this is the Purpose Powered Podcast. We love you guys. And until next week, holla at your boy. Peace, y'all.