The Purpose Power Podcast

Michael & Niko Ford (01:15)
What's up y'all, it's your boy Michael Ford. This is the Purpose Power Podcast, and this segment or episode is called Real Talk. This is my lovely wife and co-host. Nico Ford. Yes. In this segment, we sort of drift off the scripted type of podcast, and we just talk about real talk, like real stuff that we go through, relationships, real stuff that, you know, that everyday people deal with every single day, and just...

how our relationships have thrived and some of the ups and downs and stuff that we've gotten over through the years. You're a cowboy? I'm just kidding. Well, I say we have. Yeah, you know, just...

ups and downs, regular, schmegular things that people handle and deal with in relationships and just how men and women really truly are different. Yes. But there's a reason. There's a reason. God made us different. Exactly. He made us different on purpose. Let's get to the topic. Emotions versus logic.

And the difference between how men and women how we we approach things How we approach them how we process things As as women we tend to be a lot more emotional Towards towards things and I'll speak for myself in particular. I'm very I can be very emotional and then of course over the years, you know when you

as you age, pre-menopause, menopause, different things of that nature, they take a toll on our bodies as women. And we go through so much. And I'm not at all implying that men don't, but I'm just saying that sometimes the response that you may get may be a little bit more of an emotional response versus a logical response. Now I'm not saying that as women we don't have

the capability to respond logically. But just some of the way that we're designed, we are designed to respond a little bit more emotionally. But the great thing about that is, is you need both. You need a balance, you need a balance. You need both. And I think, I want to be specific towards us. Like I said, men and women, but let's clarify that and let's say between how you and I are. Because naturally men are logical and naturally women are more, but let's...

I want to definitely clarify like how do, how will we deal with our emotions versus logic? Cause I'm very, very logical. And women tend to think, he'll deal with something emotionally first. Then after their emotions are subsided, then they go to the logical. When men or myself, I tend to think more logical. And then if there's, if there's time and space, might.

deal with it emotionally. And I think the only time I really dealt with something in my emotions, if I'm being honest, is when you were doing your whole cancer thing. I think I was in my emotions a lot. Oh yeah. And I think that was the only time I remember in my life, honestly, dealing with something more emotionally than more so than logically. I can honestly say that. I would agree with I can say that. But in general, how we approach things are different as men. We're always trying to solve a problem.

So when you come to me with something or like when we were talking and you were saying that in that moment you were telling a story about in that moment how you want to hear me, me to hear you. Well, let's just be real. This is real talk, Yeah. Let's be real. Let's get down to the meat and potatoes. We were dealing with an issue as most married couples deal with and that's the mother-in-law.

Right? How to handle your mother-in-law and stuff that comes up with your mother-in-law. Just think, don't do it, turn it down just a little bit. Okay, so in doing so, a situation happened between Nico and my mom and... I was gonna say which one. I'm just kidding.

Well, yeah. I was just kidding. No, no, no. particular situation? Well, I'm about when you told me we were talking and we first had to talk about this conversation we were talking about.

I got hurt, or you got hurt in a situation, and the first thing that came to my mind is, it's like, I warned you, I told you. So these are the repercussions of your actions. That's logically like, if you would have listened to me, then none of would have happened. That's exactly what he said. I told you, I told you. You should just listened. for me, it was like...

Okay, you told me and that doesn't negate the fact that I still, something still happened to me. And it happened not because necessarily I was being disobedient or I was just trying to be this, this, you know.

I don't know, just trying to do my own thing. wasn't that at all. It was just simply in the timeframe of thinking that I was doing the right thing. I didn't really know how to really stand in ⁓ myself or just be able to, you know, have enough confidence to say no.

you know, or to kind of, you like I said, just stand in who I was at the time. I was young. I was very impressionable. I was still wanting to be liked, you know, that people pleasing thing that we tend to do sometimes when we're young and when we're still learning and still growing. And I can admit that I got taken down the rabbit hole because so to speak, I was trying to,

people please. And that's ultimately how it happened. And I had to come to the terms between myself and God was that I had to be honest about it and say, okay, this was the part that I played, you know, and not saying at all that I deserved what I got, you know, but for my husband, it was just kind of like, well, hey, I told you, you know, and it was like, okay, so there's no empathy at all. Like you have nothing for me besides I told you.

I did, I did, I did have empathy. Later, later on I did. But my first initial reaction was like logically thinking from a man's point of view was like, if I told you don't go down that road, there's a pothole, you're gonna get hurt. And if you go down there, like, almost just like, I told you, but.

got what you got. That's how men think. That's how we think. When you tell me there's a pahol, saying, don't listen to this person or don't do this, and this person is not, we're not talking about just some Joe Schmo on the street. You feel what saying? We're talking about your mother, my mother-in-law. Now, I understand that you have history with this person because she's your mother, right? Yeah, no. I don't really have any history with this.

person. I'm coming into the situation with a, again, like I said, very naive, very people pleasing. And at the time I didn't know I was a people pleaser. I just thought I was doing the right thing. You know, hey, I'm honoring this person and thinking that by honoring them means dishonoring myself. No, no, I get that. understand what I'm saying? So that's where I was in that space. And so, you know, we would have this argument back and forth and specifically when we were married.

each other, it would come up well. And then I would, you know, be very nasty in how I was, you know, talking or saying something rather than just saying, hey, sweetheart, listen.

I'm hurt and I just need and really what I was saying is I need you to kind of like show up for me and I didn't feel like I was being shown up for I just felt like sort of like okay well you got hurt well I told you and it is what it is let's move along and for me I'm still stuck there because my emotions and granted yes there comes a point where you need to think logically and you need to say okay you got to heal from this you understand

I have to agree with them. I to agree with them. It's like the Lord would show me like, this is where you were irresponsible and how you were looking for this person's approval instead of looking for my approval. So it was like I had to get that from the Lord, but I wanted it from my husband. I wanted my husband to kind of.

Like he said earlier, men solve problems. like to solve problems. And I wanted him to essentially solve the problem, not necessarily chomp down on your mom or anything, but just sort of be there for me, because I don't have the experience. I think in that instance, this is why it's very important. Myology is little, bothering me little bit. But I think...

It's really important for young men, because that was in an earlier in our relationship, is as young men it's very important to understand like we do think logically and when we are emotionally first, but there is a balance when comes to it and how the balance works in the kingdom of God and how everybody plays their part. But you have to learn like, okay, in an instance like that, I have to step for my pride and not say like, you know what, I told you so.

I told you so and learn how to just be there as a husband and love you like Christ loved the church But that's what I had to learn and something that I'm always still learning still growing today because I'm very logical. I'm very methodical. I'm very I like my mind I like stimulation in my mind, so I think I think a lot and Recently

came across some stuff that, you know, that related to me, how does my mind work as far as highly intelligent individuals. No, I'm not trying to...

won't find myself in any way. But how my mind works, my mind thinks very fast. it's like, okay, I process stuff very quickly. So when someone comes to me something, logically I'm like, here's the logical step, A, B, C. My mind runs that all down. So the emotional factors of that don't factor in. It's like, all right. Now I have to learn that, okay, emotions are not bad. But as men, and let's not say it's men, let's say it's myself and what I've gone through.

I couldn't have relied on my emotions. My emotions wouldn't have served me well at all. So I've learned to suppress my emotions to get the job done, to push through things. Now yes, at some point, at some stage, has come dysfunctional in a way because I'm, what is it called, what my brother calls it, emotionless being. Because you just know how to react and just keep going through it. But naturally men and women,

You know, we suppress our feelings. know, and nothing is wrong with having feelings because I think it's a good balance. But women sometimes, you guys put it on the forefront. So when you tell me that, like, man, that just makes no sense. But I have to be patient to say, okay, eventually you'll come down and then you'll think logically. So I have to learn how to hear you out when you come with that emotional high about something. And I'm like, this makes no sense what you're saying. Like the logical thing to do this, this, this, this, and this.

Let's talk about the incident in Vegas. When we moved to Vegas and we were debating coming back to Phoenix or staying in Vegas and putting... We were at a, I would call it a crossroads. Was Niall born then? Yeah. Niall was born, okay. We had both kids. So we were at a crossroads. We were at a crossroads. You had to stay in Vegas and...

put Isaac in school there or come back to Phoenix and Isaac continued to go to school. But in that saying that we had to come back to the family house. We used to have a family house that we used to all stay in when things got, know, anybody ever had problems and we had a family house. But the debate was like, I was mostly like, I was largely like,

No, we need to stay in Vegas when you do this, this, this, this, this, and this, And Nico's standpoints were more so, I'll let you tell us your standpoints. Well, I think from a mother's perspective for me was trying to make sure that I was looking out for my children and giving the best to my children. And at the time it had been recommended that one school

and the way the school is being taught and what was the curriculum? It was Becca. Okay, so Michael's familiar with, what is it, Becca? A Becca, yeah. Okay, a Becca. I don't know if any of you guys out there are familiar with it.

Do you think you can look it up real quick so I can kind of... Just so I can spell it out for you guys, anybody out there who may be familiar with the Becca. I personally was not familiar with the Becca, had no idea what the heck it was. But Michael's gonna look it up just because I need that right now. Maybe I don't really, but...

It was curriculum that he was familiar with and if I can just kind of give you guys a synopsis I believe it is like a Christian Curriculum, is it? Yeah. Okay, so he's familiar with it because he went to school and I think you guys Did you guys do a Becca or you know we did a CE? Okay, so they did a CE but anyway a Becca is a Christian curriculum and short so Okay, so I just wanted to spell it

So it's spelled A-B-E-K-A, Christian curriculum, okay? So it's called a Becca. Now, mind you, once again, here I'm gonna come with the people-pleasing thing because I was young and I wanted to be liked and loved by my new family that I married into.

And Michael's mother, know, like I said, I love her. She gave a lot of great advice and was very, very instrumental in a lot of the things that we, you know, were able to do. And so I appreciated and valued all of that. But there does come a point in time in your relationship between your husband and your wife where you should, you know, ultimately say, okay, hey, we appreciate, we value those opinions, but ultimately they're our kids.

And ultimately we have to learn how to hear for God for ourselves. You understand I'm saying so sometimes those opinions can override What God may be telling you to do because I agree with that Michael fully like believed no we need to stay in Vegas We need to separate ourselves from whatever is going on over there. We need to just kind of figure out what God wants us to do but being Like I said for me as a mother I got a little emotional and for me it was like

the whole ABEKA curriculum.

His mom suggested that it would be best for our daughter Anaya. But Isaac probably wouldn't catch on to it. My mom's an educator, so she had... She was coming from a place of, she's an educator. Some of the she told us about our kids was spot on. Isaac would be good at math, Anaya would be good at reading and language arts.

I guess my standpoint was, look, we're in together, we'll figure it out.

Exactly. It's like, okay, but for me it was like, Emotional I don't want you know, I felt like someone was basically Saying that my my son wouldn't have the capability To catch on and I didn't like that and at the time it kind of hurt And I just felt like no I'm gonna do something about that. It shots onto a back of the Curriculum I'm gonna read this little bit. What's the back of this people don't know what a back is back of the curriculum

is a pre-K through 12K Christian-based educational program used by homeschooling and Christian schools. It's a traditional religious approach that emphasize the biblical worldview in all subjects. So it incorporates daily Bible instructions alongside academics. So yeah, so it uses textbooks, lesson plans, and video lessons. So it's not a...

Bad thing. the private school I went to, we did ACE, so it was like self-paced. But, bad guy's not bad, he's just, you I think for...

Isaac, she was just saying like it wouldn't cater to some of the stuff that he needed. It probably wouldn't. But I guess my thing was like, I didn't care about that. We'll figure it out. I was like, look, when there's a will, there's a way. We can power through it and just, know, okay. But we ended up, you know, and I ended up giving in, well I guess compromising, say giving in, compromising to say that, let's come back to Phoenix. I'm not saying it was a bad thing. I just think, you know, at that time we should have just standed on our own thing.

But we end up coming back and you know You know, you know, you you know, know, know, but I think that's a Topic for another

trickle down that road a little bit just because that's what it came down But I said all that saying that in that situation that you were thinking more emotionally and I was thinking more logically. Yeah, of you were like, oh man. And it was like at that time, know, yeah, I think you were in a pleasing people, pleasing state. And also just like...

Like who you are now is way different than who you were back then. Cause I remember you were thinking like the whole process actually like, cause you know I know about Nico, let me tell you something about Nico. Nico is very loyal. So if she commits to something or somebody, then she's like all in. And the fact that she had to pull Ozgy out of that school, was like, just like, she's like, no. Like pulling teeth. It was. Who's he going to? The Cape school there? I think he was, he was. He might've been. He was. And.

That just bothered her so much. And I'm being like, who cares? Just like, him out. Like, for him, he's just like, yeah, just go up there and just snatch him out of there. And for me, was like, what? Like, no. Like, you might have to explain and all these different things. So yeah, I would definitely say that was my people-pleasing error. And I thank God that I have since been...

healed from that and I have been able to trust God a lot more in being able to say no and not feel like I have to have an explanation as to why it's no just it's just no yeah exactly and when it comes to emotion and logic like versus logic like relationships like especially a relationship that's based on like a god

relationship you can't you can't be because there's a there's a balance to be said between both of them yeah like and I think in a relationship you have to be open to your partner

To be willing to say, know what, okay, even though logically this makes sense, but let me take time to see where she's coming from here out and not just go to the logical solution right away. Because I can say, once you work through your emotions, then we always come to a logical conclusion. I guess that initial part in the beginning, you just fuss-shave me so much. Yeah, because his brain, the way his brain works, it takes information and it goes, does this make sense? If it doesn't make sense, throw it out.

And so, and that drove me crazy too because I'm like, you're not listening. You're just going with, you just want me to hear. And I would always tell him like, I can accept who you are and everything that you are, even the stuff that like drives me nuts. Like I will not say anything and he used to tell me all the time, you could tell me about myself and I'm fine. And I'm like, okay, yeah, but I don't have anything to tell you about yourself. with that, let me re-inject right here. Let me re-inject right now.

Okay, because with that, okay, so how my brain works, because I would say to her, give me an example. Give me an example of what you're talking about. And she took that as if I'm saying like, try to throw it in my face or, because she was like, her response was like, I don't remember the stuff you did, so I don't give an example. But the reality is, I...

didn't remember the stuff that he did. And I didn't because if I'm just being very transparent myself, I didn't have a reason to remember it. And for me, because I...

The more I got closer to God and I understood who God was to me and was like that this being just loved me and loved me even when I was ugly, even when I was sinning, doing stuff I had no business doing, even when I rejected God, he still loved me. And to know he had this infinite love for me, has this infinite love for me, made me see everything differently. So for Michael, I would never remember and he would

He's so mad because he's like, what do you mean you don't remember me? But you're making it seem like I'm just this perfect person. And I'm like, but I'm not. I really don't remember because I almost believe that that's just a part of who God made me to be. And as I got closer to him, that didn't matter to me. None of that mattered. just... What I was really saying is not... And then, know, it's funny that, you know...

maybe like three or four days ago we had a breakthrough and I just explained to her like what I mean by that. So I'm not saying like, oh, like tell me when I did that. I was really, how my mind works. I'm really saying like.

give me examples so my mind can relate to what you're saying so I can process it. So if you don't give me an example, then I can't connect the dots. So how? Because it would frustrate me when he would say that. Because I'm like, give me an example. I don't have an example for you. And I'm not saying, give me an example, like when I did it, because I didn't do it. Yes, it was like, when did you me an example? exactly how it would come off though sometimes. And it would drive me nuts. I was like, give me an example. Because in my brain, how it works is I need reference points. So I'm like, OK, if you give me

referenced and I can cross-reference say okay you know I did do that because I have no problem being held accountable and sometimes I think I come off like I know it all I don't do anything wrong and that's not the case at all. Yeah. All right if you tell me something if I really don't understand I'm really telling you like give me an example so I can my brain can have a reference point to say okay because I do a lot of self-reflecting sometimes too much and Nico has helped me with that over and she has really helped me with that because I over analyze myself. Yeah Michael's like one of those

you ever seen one of those what is it I used to clown you about okay I'm gonna say something I don't know if you know y'all might catch it out there but it's almost like a oh my goodness so that's if my tongue Lord please help me Holy Spirit bring it to me I can see it in my head anyway it's like a

Okay, what the heck is a is a Japanese thing, okay? ⁓ samurai you down. Thank you. Thank you Samurai when they just When they do something wrong, they just keep keep doing you know, just keep stabbing themselves over and over and I will always tell him like look, okay Listen, I'm messed up. I'm really hurting. It's okay. I'm really hurt myself I have to talk him down the ledge cuz if not

He will just play it over and over like no I could have done that differently. I could have done this and I could okay And I think I think I think I think that's Logical side, but that's how my brain just works It's like cuz I realized that young age this you really can't control you can't really you can't really control anybody else's Response besides your own so any situations. I always say okay. Let me let me self-evaluate What did I do in that situation? What could I do differently?

But I get, I overdo it. overdo it. You condemn yourself and you gotta remember and I would tell him this all the time that what does the word say?

You know, what does God do when we do something we're not supposed to do? Does he condemn us or does he just convict you? You know, and he does convict you, but he doesn't condemn. And he does remind you, okay, hey, messed up over there, but you know what? We're get through it. And that's what you always have to remember. You have to remember that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ. And I would tell them, are you in Christ? And I guess that's the point when it goes into...

the logical versus emotional because logically like I made a mistake I need to fix it right but the emotional things like sometimes you need emotional support you need to say somebody tell you it's okay yeah it's okay and in a relationship because I'm I'm I'm can tell you guys honestly I'm a different type of being the way I made my mind works it really it really

It really goes and goes and goes and a funny thing is I never thought I'll be married at all because I'm compatible with 3 % of the population or 4 % or something like that. the fact that I'm married is like a blessing in itself because I'm very, very logical. I'm very, very... It's not also logical. very... What's the word?

I'm very intellectual. So I believe like, okay, like arguments sometimes. I'm like, we can talk about anything. We can have a civil conversation about something. It doesn't matter what the emotional highs are. We don't have to get emotional. can just get logically and factually about something. And that used to drive her crazy. And I'm thinking to myself like,

And I had to learn to understand people and that people are different. I'm thinking like, what am I saying that doesn't make sense? Like, why does it make sense? Does it make sense? So what is the problem? I don't get why you don't understand my position. It's not that I don't understand your position.

Nah, it's just, for a long time it was like, okay, I had to see it from your standpoint and I had to learn to see it from other people's standpoint and your standpoint to say, okay, you know what? And I had to teach myself how to learn other people's emotions. Like I really did. If this is when I was a kid, it's something that didn't make sense. didn't like...

That makes no sense. getting in certain, getting in trouble or like certain type of things, this doesn't make sense. So why would I do this? So I was always the kid that I never was pressured into doing something. If I said, okay, that makes sense. Or if it was a risk, I took the risk knowing, like I used to plan my mess ups. Like it was crazy. But it was just, what are those things? So, you know, being, we've been together for 15 years, 16 years. So learning like, okay, how to- Been together 16, married for 15.

And remember ⁓ there's a point when we first got together, I was teaching her a lot and I was showing her and it was great. And my whole thing was to make sure that she's okay, she can do, be okay without me. And I was like, okay, cool. And I remember that, I'll be honest, I remember when we first got together, was like, man, I'm thinking it's like, she can't think like me. And I'm like, okay. And then I remember when the point where it backfired on me.

And when she got to the point where she started reasoning and thinking and challenging me, I'm like, I don't like this. See, God doesn't give our spouses to us so they could be like us. No. He doesn't give us our spouses so they can agree with us on everything. That's not what He gives us our spouses for. That's not what marriage is even for. No. Marriage is to make us holy.

is to make us holy, is to make us like Christ, is to bring the best, you know, okay, you have some things that you may not be that great at, vice versa. And it's really about bringing glory and honor to God, you know, at the end of the day. So the itchy parts of yourself that, you know what I mean, that rub your spouse are the still parts where God is trying to grow you.

where he's trying to get you because you got to remember sometimes people have this assumption that when you get married you're automatically one. No. You are not. Not at You will spend the rest of your days as you are here on this earth constantly becoming one. yeah. yeah. Constantly. Because there's things about you know things that you do that

you know, may drive me crazy, but ultimately, you know, when I can come down and recognize like, okay, all right, Laura, what are you trying to teach me here? What are you trying to show me here? What is it that I may think that is okay if I were, you know, maybe by myself or even with him that I'm thinking maybe, um...

not thinking about him. I'm just maybe being selfish and thinking about myself. you know, just, just remember that marriage is, marriage is definitely a and it's definitely a growing and learning experience. And I can say that over the years like this, it's definitely, you have to find the balance in everything. Life is balanced, marriage is balanced. And sometimes it is unbalanced. And I think that,

when you're finding the balance. Because I can say for myself, I couldn't do what God has called me to do without the stuff that you bring to me. far as like, Nico always tell me be anxious for nothing. And I always find myself getting anxious. Like I don't know how to shut down and shut off and just relax. I don't know how to do that. My mind is always running. I always feel like have something that had to be done, something that needs to be done.

So my mind is always racing. My mind is always running. So I never really relax. I mean, Nico has helped me a lot to put me at ease and relax and say, it's okay, you can relax. Or you can take a day off or you can do this. that helped me a lot because if I find myself in my later years having a bit of anxiety. Yeah, Eddie never had that before. Never had it before. But from being a little anxiety, being anxious.

I guess in my mind I feel like I'm running out of time. I feel like I'm running out of time so there's so much need to be done and I'm trying to do it in a short amount of time. I don't know where I get that from but in my mind it's like okay because you know when I was young I was really ambitious. Yeah. So in my head I was going to retire by 30. I remember. So now that I'm 44, about to 45, it's like man I feel like I miss my window.

I remember and we went through something with that too and thinking that he missed his window when else kind of you know having some disagreements about that as well because There was a time where I was like, okay, you're way too ambitious And I don't think I can You know, I'm not that you know, it's not that I'm not ambitious I just

There's certain parts about him that again, like I said, when you're married to someone, will continuously learn them and they will change and they will become someone else. So it was like, okay, I think you're way too ambitious than I imagined. And I don't know if I can catch you. I don't know if I can, you know, work with that. Now understanding myself later in life and that's why.

my plugin Race Running 101, the audio book that's out now. You guys need to go cop that Race Running 101. through that journey in 2016, I remember that ambition come from a need of running some else's race. Feeling like I wasn't successful, feeling like I was behind. understanding that now, I understand where that came from.

Cause I was looking at, I'm to do this. And I was doing everything that lined up and looked like what success should be. And I had it from success. I tell this in my book. When I was the most successful, I was the most depressed. That's when I was doing my suicidal stage. And on the paper you would see like, wow, he wanted in himself. Like here's everything on paper that, you know, and also I think, you know, the thing to be said about being ambitious. When you, when you,

accomplish a lot of goals at a young age it's sort of scare that's right we're thinking scared because I'm not messing with you. Is the right word? Scare? Yeah. Look, if you want it to be. Okay well it sort of makes Falkie the reality of what things what things really are right you don't you take things some things for granted like since I've been 25

I haven't made less than $100,000. I've made a lot of money in my life. So some things we take for granted. And when you're so ambitious, sometimes you don't have time to see the journey and that's okay. Sometimes life's just a coast, so it'd be okay with who you are and that success is different to everybody. And that's why it's important, when I wrote that book, it wasn't just for people. It was going to help people, but it was for me as well.

Cause I have done a lot of things and sometimes when I tell people all the things I've done, it sounds like I'm bragging or it doesn't seem real. And you know, from being a nurse to knowing how to fly to doing all this to be an entrepreneur, all these things that sounds unreal. Now to me, it sounds like, no, I was searching for something. So I did a little bit everything. Cause I come from a family of achievers. Yeah.

You know, feeling like I need to overachieve, I need to achieve and having that ambition. But I think now it was misguided ambition. Because it wasn't geared towards the path that God had for me. It was seeking the world approval for what the world wanted, the world ideal view of success was. And I was chasing that. And at some point, reality, I had that. And you know that when I walked away from my job and decided to be an entrepreneur and...

You and I had some, you know... Yeah, we had our... Oh yeah, that was... was... That was scary to me because I was thinking, okay cool, I married this guy and you know, obviously we were friends before that but you don't really know someone until you really know someone, you know? And I know we're getting a little bit off topic but this is it's called Real Talk because we know what the topic is but we're being real about some things in our relationship.

It brings it transparent. Sometimes, you know...

And not to sound arrogant, but I have reached levels of success in my life that most people would never reach in their lifetime. I can agree with And I've the good side, the upside of making a lot of money, and then I've been broken homeless. and seeing that you get it from perspective, but also on the other side, I think I was chasing something I didn't understand and I wasn't happy doing it.

And I felt like I didn't know that time that I was called to be an entrepreneur. anytime I get a good job, assistant job, I feel trapped. It doesn't matter how much I'm making, I feel trapped. But somebody can tell me how much I can earn or cap me, then what I hear in my mind is that you're limiting my guy-given ability and talents based on your perspective of what I should be earning, what I should be making.

I'm making, I'm growing your company, growing your business, and I'm stifling and suppressing my God given potential. And that is hard. So mentally, my mental health comes unstable when I'm in that environment. Now, is there times that I think about like, man, because right now we're in a rebuilding stage. And there's something like, man, why didn't you just stay with the job and just have that security?

Sometimes I think like, dang man, I shoulda done that. But if I'm real with myself, I don't know if I would, I don't know if I can. So it's been a blessing that you've been, your personality and who you are that you've been able to take this ride. And I don't think most people would've took this ride. Being honest. No. Probably not. Being so honest. Being so for real. But it's, it's, uh.

I can say that even though sometimes I wanted to run. yeah, I know you did. And really just be like, my gosh, but you know, here we go again. He's jumping again, Jesus help. But I've learned a lot and I've learned a lot about who he is and then who we are together.

Realizing that you know what, I know for a fact that this is where I'm supposed to be.

And... I'm gonna quit. But there was a few times he did scare me. And I was just like, oh my gosh. Like, what did I get myself into? Yeah, a few times I scared myself. But I... But he would never let... Like, he never let me know that he was scared. Because he'd just put his parachute on and just jump. And sometimes... the more logically... That's more the logical, more than emotional. I'm like, I can bet on myself. Because the facts are this and I can just go ahead and just do this. And then the emotional side of hers. And she had vows.

points because I'm not gonna say she didn't have those points because but at the time like I said the way his brain works is if it does not make sense to him

He went trying to hear it. But later on in life, you know, we were able to talk about those things and it was able to, there was able to be some understanding from, for the both of us, like from my point of view and his point of view. Cause it was like, if you're not careful. Cause I know initially when he did a lot of this jumping, when I found out that he was an entrepreneur and he was not a, what some people call a lifer. Yeah. Nine to fiver. He wasn't planning to stay.

at his job. And I did, you know, I was scared, you know, and I didn't know how to react. So a lot of it came off as anger towards him and it wasn't anger necessarily, it was just like, I'm scared and I don't know what we're doing. And in his mind, he's just thinking, hey, look, you should just rock with me. And I think the takeaway from that is I think back then I should have been more empathetic to what

you were going through emotionally and being here for you emotionally to explain it more. I guess my thing was like look we're jumping this makes sense we're doing it. Basically. And look it's me and God and you ain't ready with it then you out I'm out I'm doing this no matter what. And he did. In hindsight you know and now that I'm on my ladder that's a little bit older.

I would say older and wiser. think, I'm ambitious but I'm not... Yeah, well yeah, you're still I'm not youthful and ambitious like before. Sometimes I do miss that. Sometimes I think I need that sometimes. And I don't know how to pull that back right now? Yeah, I think I need that but I don't know how to pull that anymore. Because I guess I'm wiser and I see the bigger picture of everything. So now I'm trying to pull back that youth ambition to just jump and just jump. now I'm like...

No, I think that's life though, because life teaches you over time, things you experience, things you go through. does affect the way you handle things, how you do things. And I think for me, I think after 2018 and that health scare, I think my ambition piped down a lot. And I think because of fear, because that's the first time in life I was unable to do anything.

Yeah, that's true. I had to trust God in whole new way. I wasn't able to do anything. Yeah. Yeah, I think now I'm more cautious. Yeah, I think way more about stuff now. Sometimes that gets me in trouble too. I think too much now. Yeah. And before I didn't do that, I was like, this is happening. And you were the thinker. Yeah. And you had the hesitations. And now you're telling me, you're honey, John, I'm like, but should we? Let me run the numbers on that. Right, right. Now it's like, you know, but.

But I do thank God that where we are, where we close this up, we've spent what, 43 minutes so far? Okay. That's been pretty good. No, it's been good. I know we got out topic a little bit, but I just want to talk about real talk. I think everything's sort of tied in to everything. I mean, I think sometimes we want to just, again, when you're...

When you're, I would say when you're a Christian and you believe God, you're trusting him, these podcasts sometimes are gonna go, they may go, but they're gonna come back at some Because for us, I believe in giving the Holy Spirit freedom to do what wants, and he does too. So we may think, it got off track, but my belief is that somebody out there got something from where we think we might have gotten off track, but

Ultimately we were being transparent with you all but also sharing how you know logic and Emotion how they both are needed, know, ultimately you need both. I do I think the balance you do. Yes. It's absolute I think it's absolute balance. Yeah, and and I think now I'm trying to be more on the I guess I

I entertain the emotional side now. I about it way more than before. I agree. And I think that comes with age and comes with wisdom. So with that said, with that said, said. Yeah, I think we're gonna wrap it up. We'll wrap it up. So once again, I'm Michael Ford. And I'm Nico Ford. And this has been the Purpose Power Podcast, the Real Edition.

And we'll keep bringing you additions in here, the real talk additions too, just to fill in some of that stuff. Because some real talk is just something necessary. I think we lack that a lot today. We're trying to be politically correct with things. And if you guys have any ideas or topics that you want us to touch on, maybe you have some.

things that you are experiencing in your marriage or relationship and you're not sure. And maybe you just want us to kind of talk about it or touch on it. we're definitely, yeah. our perspective and yeah. And we might even go live and then, know, have you guys come on.

We can do that and you guys talk to us about it and you know answer any questions, you know, yeah So what we know we know what we don't we don't on that topic, thank you guys for joining us tonight. Thank you very much. We appreciate very much more than you guys think and To the next time y'all be blessed. Y'all be blessed. How's your boy?