The Purpose Power Podcast

Michael & Niko Ford (00:56)
Welcome back to the Purpose Power podcast. I'm Michael Ford. And I'm Nico Ford. And if you are new here, this is the podcast where we talk about real life, family, marriage, love, kids, and all the above. We talk about purpose, mindset, and how to walk that out, how to deal with that in a real life, how to deal with that. And if you guys were here last week, we talked about purpose over perfection.

Yes, we did. And something that actually hinders our walk more than perfection is... Fear. So today we're talking about the fear factor. Yes, indeed. Not the show. We're talking about real life fear. And what stops us? Exactly. It stops us riding our tracks. It does. And we all have fallen victim to it. We all have entertained it. We all have...

let it play in twist our minds. And we're all guilty of that. So what is fear? Well, my belief is, fear is...

Fear plays with your imagination. It delivers the worst outcome scenario about any situation. Yeah, absolutely. It's not based on, well sometimes it is based on facts. Sometimes it isn't. It's just over exaggerated belief of the worst outcome that could possibly happen. Now I'm not talking about, some fear is good.

The Bible talks about some fear being good. But the fear we're talking about, the fear that hinders you to move to actually do anything. That's the fear we're talking about. The fear that plays on your imagination that tells you you're not going to succeed. Don't take the step to do it. Whatever it tells you. And one of the scriptures that because we got an opinion about fear, you have an opinion about fear, and so does God. And God actually talks about fear and there's a specific scripture.

that we're gonna touch on tonight that deals specifically with fear and that scripture comes from believe it is first Timothy right? Let's it think the one you're talking about is God did not give me a spirit of fear right? and it is actually second Timothy see that's why it's a good idea to Second Timothy chapter one verse seven. which reads

for God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. See, and God has given us power. It says, for God has given us not given us the spirit of fear, but power, love, and a sound mind. So the power. So, and let's talk about what is that power that God's talking about? Like, what does that power include? Like, when he said it gives you power. I think that power is to overcome the...

delusion of what fear creates. Because you can operate in faith or you can operate in fear. For faith is the substance of things hopeful, the evidence of things not yet seen. See, with fear it's the opposite. Fear is things not yet seen either. But it's just a negative version. It's a negative emotional that ties into fear. Let me get to this.

Fear.

is a mindset, but it also acts as a spirit. It also is a spirit as well. See fear digs into all your insecurities. And fear gives you all the reasons why you can't do something, why you can't achieve something, and it plays on all your insecurities. I'm not smart so I can't do that. I don't know how to do that so I can't do that. So it's you internalizing everything that...

your flaws or your weaknesses and it's projecting out. It's a limitation. It's limiting. When God says you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Yeah. So what that means, that means even when you're weak in Him, you're strong. there is no limit to what you can do. But if you look, if you look, the heroes of old in the Bible have dealt with that, the issue of fear. Yeah. And we have dealt with the issue of fear in our relationship.

in our business adventures. And it plays, it takes a lot of energy to believe fear because you're imagining something, an outcome happening that didn't happen yet. So if you can take that much energy to imagine the worst case scenario, why not take that same energy to imagine the best case scenario? Because it takes a lot of energy. And then here's the thing though.

things about your mind. At some point you start speaking enough, your mind starts believing in it. yeah, most definitely. It starts believing in it. Then you really start having physical limitations because your body doesn't know the difference. That's why mindset is very, very important. yeah. Mindset is hugely important because that's your autopilot. That guides you. When you eternalize the negative things about you, you project them outwardly.

then you would stay stuck for the rest of your life, but based on fear. Yeah. Yeah. And those are things that are passed down from generation to generation. Like if you, if you're afraid you never left your city or your state, the most likely you can teach to your kids. Yeah. And I mean, a lot of times, fear doesn't always look like necessarily being scared of something. Sometimes it can be procrastination, overthinking something.

or just constantly second-guessing yourself and you'll stay there simply because you're kind of waiting to you know, hey, maybe I'm waiting for this to happen before I move here. Wait for the perfect moment? Yeah, and that ties into what we were talking about last week. the great thing about God is a lot of times I mean I can probably say almost

100 % of the time, God is going to have you do something that you're afraid to do. He's going to have you do it when you're afraid. exactly. I'm just going to use myself as an example here. I remember when I was first, when I first started learning more about God and his love for me and getting close and, and ⁓ really just.

building my relationship with him. And the more I got close to God, it was like he was always having me do something that was stepping outside of my comfort zone. And I remember a lot of times assuming that it wasn't him because I was scared to do it. Like there's no way God will want me to do this if I'm scared or if I'm uncomfortable. And what I didn't realize is that no, as you get closer to God, the more he calls you to do things,

that you're afraid to do. I'm one of those people, I hated speaking in front of people. I hated talking in front of people. And I remember when I was first walking with him and getting close to him, there would be a lot of times where he was calling me to, I remember one time I think I was at a McDonald's drive-thru, okay, and was first when I realized that God still talks today and he speaks to you.

And I remember going to the McDonald's drive-thru and I was grabbing something. I don't even remember what. But the lady there was very, you know, very short. I'm just gonna put it plainly, she was rude. old people would have wanted to be rude right back. But I was walking with the Lord and I was getting closer to him and paying more attention to what he wanted versus what I wanted. And so that meant my flesh had to die. So.

I remember getting to the window, getting ready to pay. I noticed that she's not feeling well. And I hear the Holy Spirit tell me, ask her if you can pray for her. And in my mind, I'm thinking, I ain't doing that. Exactly, she's just rude to me. I'm definitely not asking her that, you know, but I want it to be obedient.

What do I do? Even though I'm afraid and fear is just really rising up, like, I don't want to do this, but I want to be obedient. So I asked her and I'm like, hey, you know, can I pray for you? And she said, yeah. And I just asked her, know, well, one, I asked her, was she okay? You know, I asked her, was she all right? And then secondly, I asked her if I could pray for her and she said yes. And I remember her first kind of hesitant in saying,

Well, I go to church and I said, okay, that's fine, but you know, I believe the Lord wants me to pray for you. And so I ended up praying for her and I would do that quite often where I would hear the Holy Spirit tell me, no, talk to this person, ask this person this. And initially, like I said, that fear would rise up and it would tell me like, no, that's not God. There was no way he would put you out there and be uncomfortable. But that's not true. The more you come to know God and know,

his plans and his purposes, the more you realize, no, he's gonna ask you to do a lot of things when you're afraid. And that, for me, was huge, because I did not like talking. I remember those days when you used to get up and you used be terrified. But it's amazing seeing where you have come from now, the fact that you would never even know that was even a season that you went through. Yeah.

So I would say it's safe to say that, let me look at my notes here, because notes are good. They are? Fear stops your purpose. fear is just not a feeling. It's an assignment that the Emmy uses to keep you stuck where you are.

Fear delays your destiny and kills your confidence. Wow. Yeah.

And if he can keep you stuck, he can stop you from doing what God called you to do. And that's the thing. And if he keeps you stuck, then like you say, we talk about this is a purpose-powered podcast, And I believe everybody has purpose. They believe that everybody should be living in their God-given purpose. But fear will keep you stuck. And the enemy uses fear. Because fear is an illusion. I mean, I'm not saying that some fear is not real. It's real. But God says that you can overcome it.

Yeah, and we have to also remember too that God is bigger than our fear. Right? No, exactly. He's bigger than our fear. And it's not saying that you be naive about fear, because certain fears are good. Like if there's a dog off a leash and he looks crazy, that's the fear the Lord was getting wisdom. But the fear we're talking about is the fear that actually stops you from actually acting on it. I can say that ⁓ personally, I was afraid to release my audio book, Race Runner Runner 1.

I mean I was fearing that I was okay. I wasn't good enough. Who am I to talk about this? mean that was fear and I had to deal with that for a long time. That's fair to And that's just real because you like, well who am I? I mean yeah, I know. had success. I'm really hearing God telling me. Anybody want to hear me talk about this? That's the main thing. Like okay, who am I? People gonna listen to me? Do I have a voice? Especially that's more scary more so.

When not more so strangers, but more so with family. Okay. Because I can say that I have a voice to strangers. Okay. And people outside my immediate circle of my family. Right. Because I do a lot of mentoring, I do a lot of coaching with people. That's true. And helping people. Right. Now inside my close family. In your circle. Circle of family. Yeah. I mean, they know you more and they can say...

I know, guess their voice matters more so than it to people outside, I guess. So that's the scary part, like, okay. Well, for me, it was the scary part. But even that, you have to be careful with too. Because remember, I mean, Jesus battled with that. You know, people in his circle being familiar with him, right? Knowing him, and if Jesus hadn't, you know, have been more...

He was more concerned with doing the will and being obedient to God than he was about his circle recognizing him or, you know what I mean, being familiar with him, I should say. And he didn't allow that to stop him. So that kind of just reminded me of that when you said that, like your circle sometimes can kind of hinder that too. For me, that was the thing. And so how do you overcome fear though?

So let's go over a couple things that we came up with, how to overcome fear. So three proven steps. Number one, Nicole, you take it number one. All right. So we call these the three power steps. So one, you need to make sure with your fear, you want to acknowledge that it's there. OK, one of the things is that Satan doesn't like us to acknowledge anything that we're experiencing, right? Yep. Because you can't conquer what you won't confront. Yeah, exactly.

So number one, you need to acknowledge it. And what Michael was just saying is you can't conquer what you won't confront. And Satan likes to keep us bound. He likes to keep us silent on things. But you need to acknowledge that fear. Acknowledge that it's there. No, don't be naive and be like, it's not real. No, it's real. Your inaccuracies are real. But they're not. They don't have to stop your purpose.

That goes to number two, speak the truth over it. Use God's word and positive confessions over it. And we're just going to say use God's word over it. And we're going to say that because the thing about it is, is like Michael was saying, is you don't pretend that the fear doesn't exist. Okay. You have to acknowledge it. You can't be over like, no, I'm not in fear. you go. Fair price had a great book.

Oh my gosh. That is one of our favorite books. it Fear, Faith? No, was Faith, Foolishness, and Presumption. book was like eye-opening. Very much so. High opening. So much so that we probably need to go buy it again. Yes, plug out to Fair Price. Anyway, so you want to speak God's truth over it, okay? Because there's many truths that people like to have.

but we're speaking specifically about God's truth. You want to speak his truth over it. What does his word say about your fear? We just read a scripture earlier that God has not given us a spirit of fear. spirit of fear didn't originate with God. So that's the truth that you need to speak over it. Number three, move through it. Take small steps. Your knees are shaking. Yeah, do it afraid. So I was ever saying is the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. Yeah.

seem to eat is overwhelming, but you take one step every day towards it, then you find it's easier to overcome something if you take it on small step by step. I mean, we need to be realistic, right? There is some things that, know, like even with myself limitations I have, I'm not the best fellow in the world. I'm not. But did that stop me? No, it's gonna take me a little longer.

And now with the end of all these things now, voice to talk and all that stuff, like listen, but that never- deviates all Believe me, but it never stopped me. So I mean before, I mean it did, it hindered me. I mean when I first started, do my record label and I was like, man, I'm gonna do all this. Like I can't do all this. Like this is crazy. I remember shelving it. I remember putting it in the crate, shelving it. And like, I mean, I can't do this. I remember by happenstance or reality, God.

Directing me back to it because I remember cleaning out my office on my desk at the time And I happened to go over that list I created of all the things that needed to start a record label I remember looking at it and like dang I know all this now Right. I was like wow I know all this So I was like, know what? I'm gonna start a record label and I did and if I wasn't obedient if I left fear stop me then I never met you Because that's how I met you through music

So if I would let fear take hold then and not believe what God said about what I was capable of doing, then...

I would be living a different life. I don't think I would have done some of the things that I've done. And that was just the start of it, you know? Yeah, I that's crazy to think that. I know. Dang, that's crazy. That was a, wow. But it's funny how obedience, even though you're not sure why you're being obedient, you just, when you're obedient, how God, oh, danger steps. And how he plans out your life way far ahead that you can't even see.

So taking that one step, how that would dramatically change my whole destiny, my future, my plans. You know what I mean? So yeah, that was crazy thinking about it. So let's talk about little bit about fear.

It's about fear a relationship. Some things we talk about, like how can, how do you think fear hinders relationships and people in relationships? We know, know, we know how fear hinders like things like far as like success and, know, going into certain jobs and do we, know how fear does that, but let me just talk to you about how fear, some of your experiences, how fear you think affected our relationship.

Mmm.

I there's probably a few things that I can probably really think of. What, do want me go first? Yeah, probably you should go first. Because you probably can think right off the dome. Sometimes I need a little extra help. Well, I think how fear affected the relationship for me as a man, in my perspective, is sometimes having the fear of not being able to provide.

And the fear of not getting it right when it comes to raising the kids and just showing them, you know, just being good enough to say, know, I know your life is different than how I grew up. Yeah. But the fear gets maintaining that because at some point your kids, you're not their superhero anymore. You become a person. Yeah. And them seeing your flaws and who you are and, you know, just maintaining that whole.

Especially after 2018 when I wasn't able to provide for a while. And that fear of hope like, man, sometimes I found my purpose in providing. And it was dysfunctional. But that fear there was like, OK, do I have have worth? Do I have have value now that can't provide? What is my worth? What is my value? that's the God happened to show you that your value and worth was never.

in those things anyway. At least they weren't supposed to be. They supposed to be, but I found a lot of value in, I took a lot of pride in valuing being able to provide. Yeah, okay. And you you being a stay-home-hair mother and we making enough money for the both of us, and when I wasn't able to do that, it was fearful. Like, man, you have to face yourself. Like, okay, so who am I now that I can't do this? Yeah. You know what mean? Because I've been achieving and providing for...

Since I was 17. So I found identity in that. And when that identity was gone, was like, man, who am I now? That was real fear. And saying, okay, are you gonna look at me differently? Are gonna see me differently? You gonna think differently about me? I mean, that was a hard time. mean, a lot of I didn't share eternally, but that stuff was going on inside too, was fear. Like, man, can I have fear? And my mindset was different afterwards. I wasn't the same person. I'm still not the same person.

and trying to say, okay, where's my value lie now? That's why it's so important to know who you are in Christ, that your identity lies in Him and not what you can do. And I had to learn that, I guess to say it the hard way, but I had to learn it. And that was a hard time. It was a very fearful time. I I think that time is when fear also leads to anxiety. And that's when I started having anxiety about certain things.

Yeah, so I mean, was a hard time. I think I'm still working through a lot of that. I think most of it I've gotten over, but I think I'm still working through it. think I'm still thinking like, okay, no, I'm not the same person. have to approach things differently. and still I do it every day. now I choose to walk through it. And so when we talk to you about that things, I'm not talking about theories.

Talking about things that we actually walked out and we actually have proven to get over and you're still working and some things you're still working on. yeah, so that's my thing how it comes in relationship. So have you thought of yours? We need more time. No, I think there is, there's always a sense of somewhat fear in relationship and it's not just relationship and in marriage.

Maybe not the fear of not measuring up. I'm gonna bring up a that you told me before. Okay, maybe I forgot. When we first got together and you felt like you wasn't.

You thought you weren't deserving of what I was bringing to you, giving to you. And you had a fear like, Camille, you just always try to break up. You always try to break up first. Because sometimes I think I deserve you. I'm afraid like, you're going to leave me first, so I'm going leave you. I did. And I think that's kind of where I was going with it, because it's almost like I heard the Holy Spirit tell me, because I had no idea.

what I was gonna say, sometimes I'm not a think on my feet type of person. But the fear of, yeah, not measuring up, not feeling like you're adequate enough. You feel very inadequate, at least for me. There's been times where I have felt like, okay, I don't measure up. I'm not, like we were talking, I think, in our last podcast, I'm not as ambitious as you are.

that fear of like, okay, did I marry the right person? know, God, do you have it right? Because, you know, do I have it right? You know, because, you know, this man that she is, I'm just kidding. No, but ⁓ for real, just probably sort of not feeling adequate enough. Or I remember in our early days, always feeling like, you know, you grew up knowing.

you know, and God was a huge part of your upbringing. Not to imply that my parents were just...

know, heathens, but you know, we didn't, I remember somewhat early on in my childhood reading the Bible and knowing that, but it wasn't, you know, I didn't know certain things and I wasn't raised the way that my husband was. I just wasn't. But my parents, you know, they did the best that they could and they were still good parents. But I remember a lot of the

things with our kids. You we raised our kids to know who God was, to know who they were in God, and ultimately wanting to...

make sure that they had a relationship with God, remember, through Christ. so I remember a lot of times I would tell God, like, okay, yes, I'll make sure that I'll teach the kids, you know, we'll read the Bible. But I always assumed that Michael would be the one to lead them to Christ. For me, I was so fearful of, because I was like, well, what am I gonna tell him? But then, it's always, it always just,

both of our kids, Michael was never home. So it was always up to me when they would have these questions about, okay, you I know who Jesus is. I'm watching shows about Jesus. We're having Bible study about Jesus. Now I wanna know Jesus. And so in my mind, it was like, okay, I'm not good enough to tell my kids and lead them to Christ. Like I was always in my head saying that no, Michael's the better person.

to be able to lead them to Christ, because he knows God more. So I remember those fears of not, like I said, of being inadequate. But a lot of that was God showing me that, wait a minute, you are inadequate. Not because of myself, but because of who Jesus is. That no, he gave you because of him dying, that no, you are what I say you are.

You have the ability to do what I? Need you to do and so I remember that in the early stages, so I would say that probably and that's That's how you have to learn how to be able to yeah to actually you know walk that out. I mean Because I mean those are real life. I mean it's really like concerns because if we're honest, let's mean How much me how great our parents were and they did they best but some things yeah some things

They didn't pass on. Some things we don't know. mean, my mom did her best. Your mom dad did their best. My mom did their best. But some things you don't get taught. it's scary when you approach something that doesn't look familiar. Because you and I both can attest to, I've learned to live in dysfunction.

I learned to thrive in dysfunction. So it's sometimes it's fearful when you come out of dysfunction and even to embrace, you know, something new, something new and something normal, like, the way God created to be. Yeah. I it's, it's like, I mean, survival mode, mean, and, know, I think there's a balance in everything because some of that survival mode has let me accomplish some of the things that I've accomplished. Yeah. But somebody was dysfunctional.

Right. Someone was dysfunctional. My work ethic, I can actually say, was dysfunctional. Because I didn't give care to self. And I lived every day like I'm gonna die anyway, so it doesn't matter. Right. So it's like, okay, doesn't really matter, I'm gonna die anyway. I'm not gonna meet the benefits of my rewards. So I was in my mind, because even when I, you know, I'm very competitive, and when I martial arts, I'm very competitive. So even with taking that into like providing for a family type of mentality.

I had this warrior mentality that I would die on the battlefield. So it was like, I'm gonna put it all out and I'm gonna die on the battlefield. So some stuff doesn't matter because there's no balance. had to learn, that's dysfunctional. But it let me achieve a lot of great things, but it wasn't balanced. It wasn't balanced at all. So even coming into this relationship to, know, thinking that my worth and value was based what I could provide.

and the fear of like, okay, if I can't provide it, who am I? What am I? What is my purpose now? mean, you know, those are things that I still, I think I'm getting better and you helped me get through that. But even with you helping, it comes a point where I have to believe that. Now it's like, now it's like,

just working through that every day. I mean, that's ongoing thing. Absolutely. And that's also when you come out killing the flesh, right? And dying to self. Absolutely. And that's why it's important for your ID to be in Christ. Because God has not given you a spirit field, but love, power, and a sound mind. But knowing that is one thing, but walking it out and actually believing it and walking in that. And that's why it's really powerful to...

know who you are in Christ that's greater as he that's ⁓ what's that why am i trying to blank what's the greatest he that's in you in you but he's in the world that is in the world and to know that you know god is the greater one absolutely yeah so with that guys look we're gonna wrap this up because we're both getting tired it's been a long night but we had to bust this one out because i think it's

We thought it was necessary. And I hope you guys liked our vulnerability. I it's the first time I got vulnerable at that on camera. I mean, I appreciate it. This is what it's about. Remember, we are...

whole goal of this podcast is to obviously glorify God, but to be able to glorify God, I believe you just have to be transparent. You have to be willing to lay yourself out there, and that comes with dying to yourself. So it's not easy to do, but I am so grateful that...

You know, we're able to do that. I'm very grateful that you were able to do that. I know that's not always easy for either one of us, but I appreciate it. I appreciate you being a part of this podcast. we hope to bless you guys. if, you know, once these podcasts come out, you guys know, leave a message, leave a share, share it. Let us know what fears out there that you guys might have.

you know, hinder you all from walking in your God-given purpose and how have you overcome them or how are you still working to overcome them? And if you guys need prayer, reach out to us for that too because we're here for that. Yeah, and we'll plug into the Purpose Academy. Purpose Academy was created to help you discover your purpose because the more you know your purpose, the more can overcome fear, I believe. Oh yeah. If you know your God-given purpose then, because fear is a come from the enemy, it's a lie from the enemy.

I think it's power when you know your purpose you understand your purpose and you can walk in your God-given purpose and You can walk in the identity that God has for you as opposed to the lies that Satan tells you So once again guys, I'm Michael Ford and this has been the purpose power podcast and

Yeah, so till next time guys we will see you then you guys stay blessed and walking your purpose daily and Jesus Lord